Suicide

 

Suicide

This Razor!

I can't let go.

This razor took my joy,

The spirit stood looking at the disgusting body,

It became so dirty for my liking

Even when I sort to return with tears

My soul greatly fears the mortal.

She lives

In matrimony

With my foe.

Faster was I than my shadow

And now my phantom wander

In need of nonexistent help.

And here in my hand

A dagger that shies every keeper.

It thirsts me to let go...

But I can't tell why I can't

I am aghast a day comes

When the soul mender needs the soul

And this razor shall be held accountable

And the bearer hope of death.

This rope!

I never knew how symbolic it was

Until my hallux hit the kid stool

Then I turned pair

The one who looks

And the one who is looked.

In the comfort of rope, I regretted,

But the stool was so close that I could not lay my hands on it

Then I saw the souls of those who died same way

When I turned again to gaze

As little as twine killed me.

Why?

I failed probation thrice

With each causing 24 strokes.

72 was mine already

But I was too afraid to click 96 this time

I had to feed the hungry earth.

I wish I could let go of this rope since then

I also think this rope shall testify against me

Yeah, death awaits me.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

This poem is a deeply emotional and cautionary reflection on suicide, told through two tragic scenarios. The first explores heartbreak and emotional devastation caused by betrayal in love. In contrast, the second addresses the silent pressure placed on young people, especially students, who feel crushed by failure and expectations. The poem gives voice to individuals who made irreversible decisions in moments of pain, allowing readers to witness their regret from beyond life. It is not a glorification of death, but a warning about the consequences of temporary decisions made in permanent despair.

THEME

The central theme of the poem is the danger of emotional overwhelm and the irreversible consequences of suicide. It explores heartbreak, betrayal, pressure, fear of failure, and the psychological burden placed on individuals. Another key theme is regret, as both voices in the poem realize too late that their actions cannot be undone. The poem also highlights the importance of patience, resilience, and the need for understanding in relationships and society.

SUMMARY

The poem is divided into two major narrative experiences. The first focuses on a man who, after being betrayed in love, takes his own life using a dagger. After death, his spirit observes his lifeless body and expresses regret, confusion, and fear. He realizes that the object he used to end his life will stand as evidence of his decision.

The second part shifts to a younger individual who commits suicide due to academic failure and pressure. The act of hanging becomes a moment of realization, but it is too late to reverse. The speaker becomes both observer and victim, watching their own lifeless body. The regret intensifies as they reflect on the punishment they feared and the irreversible outcome of their action. Both narratives emphasize that what seemed like an escape becomes a trap, leaving behind only regret.

LITERARY DEVICES

The poem uses vivid imagery to create emotional depth. The image of a spirit looking at its own body creates a haunting scene that forces the reader to confront the finality of death. The description of the rope, stool, and dagger makes the experience tangible and real.

Metaphor is central to the poem. The razor and rope are not just tools but symbols of irreversible decisions. They represent moments of weakness that lead to permanent consequences. The idea that these objects will testify introduces a symbolic sense of judgment, suggesting accountability beyond death.

Personification is used when objects such as the razor and rope are given a form of voice or testimony. This deepens the sense of guilt and consequence, making the tools of death seem like witnesses to the act.

Irony is also present. Both individuals sought escape from pain, yet found themselves trapped in a state of regret. What they believed would end their suffering instead exposed them to a deeper realization of loss.

Repetition of reflective questioning and expressions of confusion emphasize the mental struggle and instability that led to their decisions.

MOOD

The mood of the poem is heavy, haunting, and reflective. It creates a sense of sorrow and tension from the beginning and sustains it throughout. There is also a strong presence of regret, which becomes more intense as the poem progresses. The reader is left with a feeling of caution and deep emotional awareness.

TONE

The tone is serious, warning, and introspective. It speaks from a place of regret and realization. At times, the tone feels almost like a confession, revealing the inner thoughts of individuals who have crossed a point of no return. There is also an underlying tone of urgency, as if the poem is trying to prevent others from making the same mistake.

STRUCTURE

The poem is written in free verse and divided into distinct sections, each representing a different scenario. The structure allows for a narrative progression, moving from heartbreak to academic pressure. The use of short lines and pauses reflects the fragmented state of the speakers’ minds. This structure mirrors the confusion and emotional instability that lead to their actions.

KEY LINES EXPLAINED

The line where the spirit looks at the body highlights the separation between physical existence and consciousness. It emphasizes the shock and regret that come after the act.

The statement about the razor taking joy reflects how a single decision can erase all previous happiness. It suggests that the act of suicide destroys not just the present but the entire sense of fulfillment.

The moment when the speaker becomes both the observer and the observed is powerful. It represents self-awareness that comes too late, showing the irreversible nature of death.

The idea that the rope or razor will testify suggests accountability. It implies that actions have consequences beyond the immediate moment, reinforcing the seriousness of the decision.

The reference to punishment and fear in the second scenario shows how external pressure can push individuals to extreme actions. It highlights the need for compassion and understanding, especially toward young people.

REFLECTION OR CONCLUSION

This poem is a powerful and necessary piece that confronts one of the most sensitive issues in society. It does not romanticize suicide but instead exposes its painful reality. By allowing the voices of regret to speak, it sends a clear message about the importance of patience, resilience, and seeking help.

The poem challenges readers to rethink how they handle emotional pain and how they treat others who may be struggling. It reminds us that no situation is truly beyond resolution, and that life, despite its difficulties, always holds the possibility of change.

READER’S REFLECTION

As you read this poem, take a moment to reflect on how you respond to pain, failure, and disappointment. 

Are there moments when emotions feel overwhelming? How do you handle them?

This poem invites you to choose life, to seek support, and to remember that difficult moments are temporary. It also encourages you to be more understanding toward others, as you may never fully know what someone is going through.

Are you, or do you know any Nigerian struggling with depression, anxiety, substance use, or thoughts of self-harm? SURPIN HELPLINE provides a compassionate, confidential space where anyone in crisis can be heard, supported, and guided toward the help they need.

If this piece touched you or made you reflect deeply, share your thoughts in the comments, share it with others, and follow and subscribe to the blog for more powerful and meaningful poetry.

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