MAJOR SOURCES OF THE PRINCIPLES OF SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

 "Marriage", according to Webster Universal Dictionary is said to be a legal contract by which a woman and a man becomes wife and husband; a wedding, either religious or civil; a close union. 

 Marriage is a union or the coming together of a man and a woman who think or believe that they can tolerate each other's positive and negative actions, enjoy and endure both good and bad times with the aim of meeting a particular purpose which may not be possible if single. 

 In the light of our discussion, we do not and will never consider other forms of marriages aside from the marriage between a man and a woman. 

 The concept "Marriage", no matter the use of words (that is, the author's choice of words) will always drive towards one keyword: Together/Union. 

 In our discussion, we will consider 4 major sources of the principles of successful marriage. And in the 4 principles, it should be noted that every marriage Counselor/Instructor's guide must revolve around these principles. Therefore, whether you are married or hoping to…in not distant time, you can get the truth and keep it.

 These 4 principles include:

1.  Biblical Principles
2. Testimonial Principles 
3. Principle of Experience
4.  The Principal Principle 

 We will go through them one after the other as the Lord unfolds secrets to us to prepare us for marriage or strengthen our marriage in Jesus Christ's name. Amen. 

 1. BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES: Marriage was instituted by God (Gen. 2: 18). Therefore, they are enshrined in the scripture principles, guidelines that should govern Christian marriages. These are stipulated principles and guidelines given by God. 

 This principle (Biblical Principle) should be considered first as it lays a foundation to any other principle that may arise. Remember! "If you must be perfect in the operation of any machine, then you must marry the manual" 

 So, that marriage counselor that is preparing you for marriage or giving your marriage an alignment is making good use of the key given by the institution of marriage (God). Therefore, each time he speaks to you, endeavor to go check things yourself.

2. TESTIMONIAL PRINCIPLE: Your marriage counselor was once sited just the way you are now listening to someone's testimony. Some Time ago, he actually read a book written by his own counselor, and it saves as a source of his own principle which he is passing on or wishes to pass down to you today. From such testimony, the counselor paints a picture of different situations and challenges always faced in marriage and some steps put in place to man such challenges. Of course, this is also a way of saying, "if it goes this way, do it this way".

3. PRINCIPLE OF EXPERIENCE: Every genuine counselor must have this experience handy. No one is expected to have the provision of this principle while single. Hence, he will fall back to the testimonial principle. 

The principle of experience is the counselor's personal experience in his own marriage. While talking to you about marriage, he tips in his own experience so far. This is for edification and clarity. And because it's his own experience, he causes you to put your legs in his own shoe, he paints a clear picture of his marriage before and after his experiences, and then he leaves you with a decision that is based on wisdom. 

4. THE PRINCIPAL PRINCIPLE: The three other principles as listed above are external except this very one which is internal. It is within yourself, it is in you. That's why I call it, "the principle of principles" 

People can tell you - This is what I read about this situation This is what I heard people say. This is what is there in the scripture. This is how I addressed mine. Etc But, the principal principle is no, no, no. You see things yourself and you make a way to address them based on the guidelines given by other principles listed above. 

 "So many marriages fail because, either the husband or the wife thought or wanted to use the same format he read in the book(s) to settle his family problem". This is as funny as jumping into a river without a life Jacket just because you have seen a fish do the same thing. Your failure is as good as that of a soldier who learns to shoot on the battlefield. 

 No matter the books you have read, the seminars you have attended, the records you have listened to. Etc. Your marriage cannot be a carbon copy of all that is embedded in those items listed above. As my brother would say, "even if you place a bet in soccer that every player in a particular match will wear a boot into the field, that one player will definitely walk barefooted into the field". 

 There are so many things you experience in your marriage which no one ever told you. And there are things you will experience which no one will tell you, not because they don't want to air it out but because they don't even know it. 

 How Mr "A" settled the challenges he faced in his marriage may not be the solution to yours even when the challenges are the same. This is the reason you have to pay attention to your marriage, know what God is saying about different situations 

 Food for thought 

"How you manage your home and respond to challenges facing your marriage will determine the success of your marriage, not the number of books you've read or seminar/talk you've attended". 

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